Sunday, 11 September 2016

Cold call fun

I don't know about you but the amount of marketing calls I'm getting are beginning to seriously p*** me off. I've had to develop a few methods to deal with them since "I'm registered with the telephone preference service, please remove my number from your list" clearly isn't getting through.
Method 1. I tell them that I do need to speak to them but there's someone at the door could they just hold the line for 30 seconds while I deal with them then I prop the phone up in front of
the radio and walk away and leave it. Hopefully this keeps them on the line a bit longer and stops them harassing anyone else.

Method 2. I pretend I'm Helen Tichner from the Archers and I've knifed Rob then I ask them for help with what I should do with the body and how to make a good custard.

Method 3. Pretend I've been kidnapped. I'm trapped in the house, I can't get out, can't make out going calls and I don't know what to do. Then I scream down the phone at them. 

Method 4. I tell them that I am a media consultant and that my rates are £400 an hour and by staying on the phone and continuing to phone me and not removing my number from the list they are there by agreeing to pay my bill. 

Method 5. I remind them that I have in fact opted out of receiving their phone calls and that by continually phoning me they are not only breaking the law but engaging in harassment. I ask for their name so that I can send the information to your lawyer. 

Method 6. I imagine I'm an over tired mum of a new baby and go all emotional on them (This one is really not that hard!)

Of course I'd rather that they just didn't call but if they must be a nuisance then I don't see why I shouldn't wind them up too.

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